Last month probably was the worst month of my life.
Why am I so timid? If only I had requested to sit down with the team to discuss about the plan. If only I had ensured that the interviewers commit at least 5 times a day. If only I had enforced my rules on them. But it all didn't happen. All because I "don't dare".
And all the if-onlys couldn't have come at a worse time than ever. That surge of emotions really.. could not describe in words. Cried on a lot of nights, nightmares on incomplete work being submitted and feedback given..
I had spent 24 days and nights straight working on, and worrying about the project. Stretched all the way until 3 March. At some point of time I began to doubt my usefulness in the team. Given my character, I would potentially inflict more damage on the projects than I could think of. Would they find out this about me? If so, what would be their action taken? I thought.
I only had 1 word to describe that month - tormented. I felt being torn apart, by clients, by the team, by my wife.
I wonder if anyone would even forgive me for what I had done. If not, I'm prepared.. no choice.
Finally, the end is near. The load of dont know how many surveys was finally lifted off the department grounds. So is my heart.
I have now some time (finally) to take a short break, before the weight of the next project starts to press upon my shoulders..
Aaaaand. I am past my another milestone in life - marriage.
This seems very much out of the game "Game of Life". You really felt that you're walking the path of life. You feel yourself growing older and older each period, hitting "wow-ed" checkpoints yet there's always that slight urge to want to go back to those days, and then you realise you can't anymore.
Anyways, yea... it was a pretty hectic year for me. Looking back, I probably did much more than what I did last year. That felt encouraging; but at the same time more pressured to make sure more happens for me the following year, and beyond.
Now I could say I am getting used to work. Being termed as a laojiao I hope I have enough knowledge to pass on to my fellow colleagues, able to set a good example, and have enough courage to lead the rest of thy ladies as a mentor (but not in appointment wise). Yea pressure builds up.
I'm also feeling the need to step up my game and take control of my work scope. It's no longer a luxury to be following behind someone's footsteps and/or instructions. I need to make my logic more sound and better heard by the rest. After all, everyone has their own style of doing things, so why am I killing myself trying to adopt other people's methods? No wrong doing it my way so long as guidelines are met, quality assured, and no hell break loose, yea?
Married life is a total game-changer. Mentality changes. More We-time, No me-time. Well the only me-time I will have is when dear works night shift so hahah. But anyway, though dear said it wasn't that great a challenge she expected about moving in, the change in lifestyle, use of appliances, houserules, etc. definitely took a toll on her mind and body. Later nights and earlier mornings, restricted timings for chores, all robbed her of her rest, so sad :(
What about me? Simple. when she's down, I'm affected. Well that's what husbands do isn't it.
Closing this year. Hope I have no regrets packing my schedules like never before, steepening my learning curve, squeezing in more knowledge within myself. Prep myself for a better 2017. Hopefully finances improve, that's my main relief. Oh, and I'm definitely going to make that
Tired. Back to sleep. Nights. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
A major milestone that concluded my single life.
It was a chunk under my bucket list checked.
It's been a long wait for this trip. I know that the trip was supposed to be done 4 years back. But somehow it did not happen. Maybe it is a better time to happen now.
I used to write out the whole itinerary for any event that happened, but somehow I think let's keep the adventure to ourselves, can we? :)
Anyways, we met up on a few occasions before to discuss about itineraries, travel bookings, accommodation, and more discussion online on changes in plans or adding new travel locations. We tried to keep it short and sweet, and had the "lets drop by the attractions along the way" plan. Kind of like the fact that all of us are taking the trip with a light heart.
Perth was really, really nice. There was minimal rain, and we were greeted with clear, blue skies and chilly weather on most days. Traffic was cool, no jams (except for a slow traffic on my last day), easy to drive around. People are nice and customer service easily beat Singapore's hands down.
We drove up to Cervantes on the 2nd day... and there I DID SKYDIVING! Totally. Worth. It. It doesn't matter where you jump from or whoever say which location has the best view. The fact of jumping out of the plane at 15000 feet overwrites all other criteria. Even the freezing air up there made my fall more exhilarating.
Next is Pinnacles. They say its a must-go location. Yes, please! Desert-Oasis feel. Took a lot of pictures while walking the trail. Needless to say, we spotted a number of Singapore tourists enjoying the landscape with us.
We were damn lucky to spot the MILKY WAY! Not the iykwim milky way, but it's the one you look up to the sky in darkness. It was chilly but we braved the cold to snap picture perfect shots of the night sky. That... was when we learnt aperture, ISO, shutter speed. Haha.
And I must say ROAD TRIPS ARE FUN! Full tank, check. Snacks, check. Internet, check. Spotify, check. Camera, check. And off we cruised 250km up north and 250km back down within a day. Who's behind the wheel? Me. Wahahah. I guess you know what to expect when I'm taking the wheel.
One does not simply miss... Rottnest Island! the haven for the happiest animal on earth - the Quokka. They really deserve a place like this. Panaromic seaview, lush greenery, serene landscape. Oh, my gosh. We were totally crying out in happiness as we saw how blue, how clear the waters were. Could not even stop our fingers snapping away at every angle, every location.
We had interim break on our 4th day. Hopped around the town and was totally glad to find some shopping venue. Whew. Outlet stores! No wonder my mum wanted me to "sweep" the items here; So cheap! Too bad they close shop at 5.. And that left us with nothing much to do for the evening sigh. Made dinner ourselves back at the hostel (and of course we screwed up our dinner) and went out for coffee.
Day 5! Set off to Margaret River! Stopped along the way for some phototaking. Saw cows and sheep. Then more cows and more sheep. And... a old lady in a 4WD that honked us to wind down our windscreen and yelled at us "You are a fucking idiot!" -midfing-
Oh. Target is like Primark. Or maybe... Isetan or BHG. Just, way cheaper. That's where kr got his $4 polo tee. and another one on the last day.
I bumped into Yina~ and so happened she was with Suwen! Wa really small world!
Back to topic. We visited the caves deep down. Nature's wonder kept us jaw-dropped. Pictures on FB. Credits to Zhen en for the pics!
Okay I admit I've been searching for kangaroos for the past 5 days. So far no kangaroo. Finally we decided to stop by the animal farm. Zhen en and kr were totally in love with the creatures...
We finally checked in our only airbnb accom at Dunsborough. THANK TUAPEKGONG / GUANYINMA WE DID THAT. Its nature all around us, the country-themed house was super big (we were given the living room and a supersized bedroom and a supersized bathroom). And did I mention that the electricity in the house was entirely solar-powered? :D
And... well that was our last night in Australia. Slept beside the full length window to enjoy the night view for the last time before returning to civilisation.
During the trip I was pleasantly surprised how our minds really thought alike, spoke the same lingo, harbour the same thoughts, carry out the same actions. I conclude this milestone in my life, checked. With flying colours. Let us do a next one. 10 years later. Hopefully Dubai or New Zealand.
Apologies for the late post. But better late than never.