Too many things happened this 12 months. Too much for me to count with my fingers. Mostly enjoyable, where I went all out into enjoying my last year as a student (with no worries), and then a pile of responsibilities just slammed onto my desk like how any other new office worker gets work from their superiors. 

For a moment, it was too much for me to take. I had to juggle between my unfinished enjoyment and my responsibilities. I had to look for a career. I mean, a place that will take a fresh grad for something not in a field I studied. It was totally a challenge. I had neither experience nor cert to earn myself a profession in the supply chain field.

I ended up not having any enjoyment nor well-handled responsibility. As a result things went haywire. I got lost. I did not know what to do now. 

What hits me most was that in the midst of it, I lost myself. My character. I had become a no-thinker suddenly. Everything I wanted to become ended up the opposite. What exactly happened?

Still yet to execute anything. Need to find a solution quick. Responsibilities are piling up. I had no time to waste like what I usually do during my school days - just forget it and wait for things to settle down then pick up the pieces, one by one. No. I had to act fast. I have many people to account my actions for.

I am sorry to those who had trust in me. I disappointed you. I am going to pick myself up and move on. From whatever unknown disease that infected my mentality. No more childish, self-centered me. No more unsociable, unthinking me. No more dirty stuff. No more.

My greatest present for this day can never be better. They were my loved ones who stood by me and silently supporting me. With that, I can't ask for more.

I shall name this milestone - mid-20 crisis.

Back to sleep. Shall reflect more on myself later.