Believe me. When I say, every parent's talk is about parenting. Me? No exception.
Friends asked me about Meiying during meetups, colleagues asked me about the same thing in office, even I asked myself about her sometimes.
To be honest, parenting is never easy. It's not like the usual caregiving that you gave to another person like feeding, clothing, or changing diapers. Parenting is on another level; your relationship with your child determines her development. There's this additional chemistry / telepathy that needs to be nurtured, to be practised between both of you for your child to grow up acknowledging you as her parent.
It has to be tapped on since young. The less time you spend with your child, the less chances of you honing that chemistry / telepathy with her, and thereafter, you realise that you cannot do anything right with her. Your confidence as her parent will be affected, and then you will start to harbour negative thoughts. And tada, you got yourself into a vicious cycle and your relationship index with your child heads down south.
I find myself at risk of that. I had not been spending enough time with Meiying. While I could visit her on weekends or on my off days, I find that no arrangement is better than living under one roof. I am so looking forward for our house to arrive so that I know I get to see her every day.
A part of me was thinking about myself though. After all, it's 2018 and like everyone else, I want to squeeze some time for myself to do some thing that I wanted, such as fulfilling resolutions. But at the same time I cannot let go of my time with Meiying. So stuck in between. I bet dear at some point of time thought the same too.
So what now? It's kind of unpredictable right now. Guess I could only live the moment and grasp every opportunity to do what I can.
Signing off here. With a family photo :)
