Do you recall that during the CNY there were talks all over the community about which zodiac have the best luck in whatever this lunar year? And that snakes are one of the top few in luck? And that there are certain good windfalls upon the year of snakes?
Yes, it's kindof proven true. For me I guess.
I totally did not expect those coming. And neither did I even dare to expect it coming. Especially at a time where work were just.. too much for me to handle. I was on the verge of breaking down, mind you. And to receive such commendation was (to me) not making any sense.
I know where I stand. I know where my competency is (and will be). I know there are certain things about me that will definitely screw up the projects. But it's either they did not notice the mole within me, or they took it with stride. But anyways, it's got to do with "brownie points".
Word has it that "for effort, if not for credit." Well admitted that I really put in hours. But what's going on in my mind is not about hours.. it's about the "full time mentality". Well I suppose that gives my managers the impression that I am really putting in enough hard work.
Coupled with the fact that there wasn't any one else to share my workload with; I could disseminate as much as I can to temps, but ultimately the chunk of the load was still on me. Sigh. When will this end please tell me. Given a choice I rather be getting less pay but able to F off at 6 sharp.
Anyways, the journey is still fucking long ahead. I better prepare myself for more shit to happen upon me. Pray for the best, and hope by the time they find out my ugly work attitude hope they can take it in good stride.