Have been too busy with work and meetups and gf. Until i hadn't had the time to come up here to write something. Too many things have happened, and now running in my mind are too many events to talk about that I, well, decide not to talk abt them at all.
So, I've started work. On internship. As a surveyor. Put aside the details. Haha. Confidentiality at stake. So ya, was quite relaxed in the first 2 weeks, and the 3rd week onwards I see my workload escalating. So fast that for a moment I thought I couldn't handle it. Lucky my fellow interns are nice enough to help out and we had shown teamwork makes what seemed like an unmanageable national project way easier than we thought.
But the challenge has just started.. I just can't shake off the paranoia of making blunders. I don't think i can afford any more blunders. Not even the slightest one. Not that it could cost me my internship grade, but i suppose the habit making mistakes and testing the system is getting so into me and it does not do me any good in future.
And btw. Results weren't that good. My failed module could potentially cost me a year more in uni. My heart almost sank the moment i spotted that F on my degree audit page. Well. What to do. Can only blame myself for setting false hopes on myself thinking "Hey bro, everything's gonna be okay, the lecturer will go easy on your grades" and easing your efforts on that module. Had given myself too much leeway and excuses and since it has come to this I think i deserved it.
That probably is a good illustration of my habit. But anyway. since nothing is gonna change be it whether i worry about that failed module costing my graduation on time, I shall focus on my current priorities at hand. MY INTERNSHIP. at least set a backup route in case i have nowhere to go and tada. I shall land myself at this place, well, until I get something better in future, at least. Not saying the current job is not good, it is a protected path in life, but too protected for your own good. I'd rather venture out into a faster paced corporate companies, where the pressure from every department and every colleague pushes me to my limit. I know my limits, but somehow my threshold is too high that nothing currently is of help getting me anywhere near that.
Ok enough of ranting. I have talked enough. Looking forward to my june schedules. My bbq, steamboat, batam, malacca... Happening? Hell no.. It's still work that takes up the chunk of my Semester holidays away.