I'm wondering which step to take now.
Or, do i even have any option?
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My one and final paper of my Uni Life is 3 days from now. After that, I'm on my own. Everyone else too. Some might have already signed up at some mega corporation securing their career and future. Some might want to just be a happy and free graduate, exploring the world, realising their dreams before stepping back to reality. Some are ultra competitive to make as much money as possible to boost their financial and career profile to catch up with those who are already there.
Me?
Hmm. Logically speaking I am having all 3. I've got a job (currently), I got 2 memorable-to-be trips lined up this summer, and I suppose my financial profile is getting somewhere. At least I am not gonna be in huge debt. Other than my tuition loan waiting.
But somehow I feel uncertain about my future. The question "is this what i really want" keeps flashing past my mind. While at work, during lunch, studying, etc. Never did I fathom I had to think so hard for my future. Probably because the previous "career path" was no longer existent. So I probably have to start from scratch. This time within a compressed period. More stress loaded on me.
My manager approached me today. I am supposed to give her a reply by this week. Time is running short. Should I be decisive(or rather, destructively impulsive)? And stamp my career path on this one? Or should I keep my options open? Probably a planner's job scope is fulfilling enough for me to forgo my management career.
I must know my abilities and limits. Who knows where I will get myself to. Nobody said this is going to be easy. I may succumb to the difficulty and toughness of this job, the politics, and stuff, .. now I had to set a benchmark for myself. I am not competing against anyone, anymore. I am competing against myself. Challenging myself to break through this mental barrier.
Once I break through I should see myself escalating. Waiting for that day to happen.
Subconsciously I'm imagining myself being a perm staff here already. Is that a sign?
I don't know. But anyway, let me get this exam over and done with first. Ciaoz!