不要跟人比。
你要赢的，是你自己。
I really need some time to get over myself.
Since I have set my targets it is time to work towards it. Why will i want to fret over something i am going to lose?
Yes it comes to a point where i am falling behind others. So what?
My steps now are to be as follows;
1) work hard
2) play hard.
I am spending too much time on work that I am not having enough time to enjoy. Having work-life imbalance will plainly mean I am not doing what i want to do. I will just be under utilised.
I still want to believe that i am capable of anything i want to do. Perhaps being stuck too long in office is not doing much good for me. Perhaps that literally-full-time-mentality is getting too into me that i am clouded by nothing but work, but unproductive thoughts about work.
I need to steer away from those tedious mindsets that drained too much energy from me. I need a system to land myself into. and apparently i am being in lost jungle because i rely too much on my own mindsets and not asking around for any platform for me to piece myself into so that i may have an easier time.
I give myself until january. I need to take a break, seriously. i am now like a premature baby that needs special care and attention. while popping myself out into the real world earlier than the rest, I proved myself to be not ready and infected myself with lots of illnesses that ended up dragging people in to take care of me.
I must remind myself from now on not to think too much. things will never get done. I must enjoy myself to the fullest in my remaining days here. after which, a couple of weeks / months that i will find my lost self back (that is the least i should do, don't i?), meeting some old friends, screwing myself up heartily in front of my cliques, and so on. Once I set my emotions and character to it then i bring them into my next career path and that will at least make life easier for me.
Of course not hoping for more ot (at least in office). I aim to leave office at 6 daily.
okay enough of random rants. need to go sleep and prepare for work tmr.
nights.